God !!!

God My Right Back HUrts Like HELL!!

For reasons i dont know for sure

Nothing i did helps!

Anyway, just posting journal.

I got a new mc contract. For the 1st time i’d be doing an MC job for a Jazz Event


Sounds Cool huh? Though it doesnt pay much but the Side deal i have and the 1st chance to work at Hyatt is quite profitable…

Thanks to this job, I Finally have a surprise for Mila on our 1st ever Anniversary

I cant wait


Beautiful Pictures to Take Home…

On this Romantic Drama Movie called “Meet Joe Black” there’s a good quote. It says,

“Life is like a vacation. You go there, have fun, and hope that you have some Beautiful Pictures for you to take home. But you cant live there forever. At times, you have to come home”

or, sumthin’ like that…

I ask my self what do i want to see in those pictures…

What is my definiton of Beautiful Pictures

What is it in life that i seek

That when i reached them i could say

“i dont want anything else” (this is also a quote from “Meet Joe Black” said by Anthony Hopkins.

I want

I want, to see myself 70 yrs old. Living in a place, not Indonesia.

By then, the country would be too small for me and myoversized ego.

Maybe New York

A huge huge city that always has something new to know about.

Always something new to tell

A huge city with huge population

A huge city with huge stories

Huge Numbers of Culture

I wanna be seen by people at this certain coffee shop i always go to.

sitting at my favourite place

Always there at my favourite hour

I wanna be seen walkin every morning walkin my dog, grabbin’ my favourite newspaper and an edition of Newsweek, Fortune or maybe Business Week and still hoping to see my Company inside em 🙂

I wanna have my own favourite Chineese Food

Wanna go to the same place to shop groceries

I wanna still e mail my son whose running my business now in Bandung and the rest of Indonesia

Business is great, getting all accross the country. It became one of the leading local sport clothing.

I wanna still call my daughter, my bright and lovely daughter. I trust her in whatever she does. Her intellegence reminds me of her mother. I can place my eyes somewhere else and not having doubts

I wanna go home to my small house where my wife awaits.

She’ll always has something to talk about

We’d never be bored

Sometimes she cooks, sometimes she asks me to go out and Dine in somewhere new

She’ll always find a new place to dine.

New York will never run out of place to go out to

Place to Dine in

I’d still contact my friends

and tell them whenever they ask where i am with the same answer

“Well you know, im still here, New York City”


The Need to be Alone and to Stay that way…

I bet it’s great to be Adam.

He wonders alone, needs not to talk to people.

and fake sayings in order to maintain others feeling.

Coz sometimes we say things we didnt mean to.

Suddenly mistakes are taken seriously buy people.

Even if he needs to talk, he’d talk to the sky, leaves, himself and maybe to God

I bet his closeness to God is unmatched by anybody.

He didnt have divergens like Friendster, TV’s, Box Office Movies, Worldwide Franchisers, woman, women, more women, Ragnarok, Rock N Roll, etc.

Its only him and God.

I bet it’s great to be Adam.

He can be alone and not having worries about others who are offended by his solitude

He can be alone and not getting the word “Introvert”

He doesnt lie, doesnt fake, for it has no needs

The Need to be alone is neglected by people

Nowadays, there are no Privacy

Mankind doesnt want privacy!

Imagine that

They open all access towards them

Some might think im one of those kind

That’s why at times i need to be alone they wondered why…

I like being alone. I like to have this page all by myself

I’ve been displaying all the skeletons in my closet there are times i need to have secrets

If you’re reading this.

Youre not wanted.

I bet it’s great for Adam to have Eve.

He has the Whole World to share

Split in 2

No more

They can spill conversations from dawn, morning, noon, afternoon, midnight, dusk, dawn…

They dont have to hide feelings and fake only to make other people feel good

So they wont be pissed off from Adam and Eve’s Public Display of Affection

Of course it wouldnt be public anymore since there are only Adam and Eve.

No need for time

Time’s pressence is formality


“You’re an Ocean”

You’re an Ocean is a song from Fastball.

I think it’s right for me to start this blog by using it

This day turns out to be an Ocean for me…

Lotsa Ups and Downs, i was bored then i rushed adrenalines

Was sick and got healthy

My day was rushin’ as if it’s chasin’ sumthin’

Sitting at the Operators Booth sweating and under pressure

i waited Guystalk Live Broadcast from STARBUCKS.

Only im not there, im here, Inhouse Producer while Ikyu is our Starbucks Producer

So far so good

Yuki and Wisnu raises great funny chemistry.

I think we’re okay…

The best part of this Live Broadcast Show is

Starbucks and HardRockFM bdg Brewed together

Hope for a long good realtionship

Why Lie?

Why do people lie?

These days i have experienced in accepting lies

it is in my nature not to confront with lies

I usually do

I rarely front em and say like “Ur lying arent ya?”

or sumthing like “Wait a sec, somethings wrong… you must be lying”

Sumthing inside restricts me of doing such action

Truth is, i dont have the heart to make em feel embarassed

Still, why do they lie?

to answer such question maybe i hafta reflect on me

Why do i lie occasionally?

sometimes im embarassed

sometimes uncomfortable

sometimes fear

sometimes insecure

sometimes protective, self defense mechanisme

or maybe…

“Repressing feeling is a must have. It differs us from Sane to Insane.”

We have to lie, otherwise we’d be like scratching a scar

We have to lie, otherwise we’d be out of control, letting loose the dark megativity inside

We have to lie, in order to keep sanity intact

“Repressing feeling is a must have. It differs us from Sane to Insane.”

i cant run away from this quote

im losing it am i?

what on earth is wrong with me?

I am losing my ability to fake.

It use to be one of my usefull skills

… (???)

But now i lost it.

I thinks that is a bad thing

People might think im rude when im just being myself

Its true only Gamila knows me that well

I am tremendously dosed out yet i need companion…

I need to be with people, but i cant fake the fact that i am tired…


“Repressing feeling is a must have. It differs us from Sane to Insane.”

That quote is haunting me again..

HEY! Its today, another everyday…

Im expecting alot of things today.

Like Emal’s DVDs

2005 Program Meeting

Going home and get sum rest

after i wonder around BSM…

i feel like i wanna look for a surprise for Gamila

Tomorrow she’ll be coming home 🙂

i cant wait

what im not expecting (but i have to do anyway) is

Giving away evaluation for my broadcasters

Meeting this FAKE with LIES written all over his face

Though his calm and sinless face tries to cover it up but the stinks smells a thousand miles

i cant wait

Why am i not home?

Because i have to watch over this Erwin Gutawa interview on Backstage

“Dont yo hafta rest so you can go to work in the morning with full fit?”

I shouldve, but i cant.

This man is to HUGE to let alone

I have to make him feel welcome by having the pressence of a senior officer

“Okay, so afterward you’ll go straight home?”

Yea of course though there’s another problem

“And that is…”

I cant sleep early

“Okay… are you talking to your self again”

I guess so… who are you?

“Im you”

Well then yea, im talkin to myslef again

“Arent you afraid that you might be losing ur mind?”

No… im okay

“Then why talkin to ur self?”

Simple, i felt lonely

“But there are Iwan, Marco, Anou and everybody else…”

I know, sadly, they’re not exactly who i want to meet

“I know who”

Of course, ur me…

“yea… i miss her too…”


“So when are we going home?”

In about 15 minutes…


“Has it been 15 minute?”


“Oh, okay…”

“How about now?”



NO.. ummm.. Yea.. lets go

(now that’s freaky… a journey in to an obssesive mind…)

Who are YOU!?

(im … umm you)

Oh, fuck so there’s 3 of us now…

< well not exactly...>

(Okay, this would be number 4)

OKAY ENUFF!! i gotta go home




< Buh Bye...>