Bitter Pills

I think about the things i doThe sacrifices i make

The hours lost

The times spent
I think about all the above 

And i think about the way my children behave when im home

How they all want to talk to me at once

They all want my attention

How they missed me
I think about that and i think about my wife

I think about our arrangement

Our promise

This wasnt the deal

I wasnt supposed to leave her behind with all of the responsibilities of parenthood.

I think about that & i wonder
Is this all worth it?

Will the result be somewhat important for my children?

For my family?
Will my accomplishments be just like a trophy?

With no purpose other than to be the reminder of how good i used to be.
Will i have an impact

For people

For my family
Will i matter?
Will it matter?
I think, still

Until i find the answer, all this questions are bitter pills