Thank God for Blog

I can write anything in my mind

Not have to worry of what someone might think

Not anymore at least.

Several days ago i heard news that there are people, other people reading my blog



It was kinda Stressful for me.

Knowing that people might read what i have in mind

Something personal.

Some asked “If you didnt want this to be read by people, that why publishing on the internet???”

My answer “There’s a HUGE difference between WRITING and PUBLISHING in the internet in this case”

What i did is WRITING not PUBLISHING

because PUBLISHING would mean there’s an activity where i’d ANNOUNCE or PROMOTE people WHERE can they find my Blog. THAT is PUBLISHING.

I only wrote it down

I told nobody but 2 people.

1 is Gamila

2nd is a friend of mine who helped me with the Link i need.

If people would hit a wild guess maybe they’d go to my 1st Blog which i have never touched anymore. Its

Its very common sense. Just type my name, add dot blogspot dot com and they’d enter.

But this new one. I bet my ass no one could ever guessed it. Unless they found out about it somehow.

Maybe i was clumsy. Opening my Blog on any computer leaving a trace of History on the address.

It wont happen again.

Back to the subject…

What i did is WRITING not PUBLISHING

because PUBLISHING would mean there’s an activity where i’d ANNOUNCE or PROMOTE people WHERE can they find my Blog. THAT is PUBLISHING.

“Why??” they say

“Why? The answer is quite weird but i swear to God it’s true. I like to write and read back what i wrote.”

“There’s something called Microsoft Word…” they say

My reply “But there’s no Template. Here, there’s this template where my writings can be found in a well designed way…”

“What about the Link?”

Still the same answer “All of it is for me. For me Only. So it’d look good for me. So that it’s look cool for me. So i can see my everything from here. All for me. Weird? NAah, not really. Its just me.”

There’s my answer. Maybe it’s not enough but it is the Truth.

I mean gimme a break here.

I need someplace where i can find Peace.

I found this and if someone disturbes…

I have no where else to go

I lost my peace.

A place to be alone


GO away Stranger.

YOu’re not Welcome here

Go away Stranger

Im in Peace.

The Toughest Part

The Toughest Part on being me right now is, maintaining my emotions

Just now, my chest hurts

my Back starts to Ache

Must’ve been my Blood Pressure Risin’ up again

I just exploded with Rage earlier, right before i right this Blog

Being the Producer of this Live Broadcast from Starbucks Thing.

God, it hurts

Plus, im catching a cold…

Perfect, Juuust Perfect

Pressure is…

Pressure is Exhausting

Pressure is Threatening

Pressure is Deliberating

Pressure is Adrenalin Pumping

Pressure is Self Strengthening

Pressure is Imprisoning

Pressure is Self Absorbing

Pressure is Self Building

Pressure is Deadly


“Anything that Doesnt Kills you, Makes you Stronger”

a common quote from a lot of books and a lot of movie.

The quote even can be found on The Big Hit DragonBall Comic Book.

So now we know that what ever hits you hard, so hard that it hurts so bad

That it feels like something you cant bare.

That the pain is indescribable

That you feel ike you’d die

But of Course, you didnt. You wont.

You survive, You live on, You exceed.

So at the end of it. You grew Stronger.

Remember that.

Put that in mind, whenever something bad happens…

“Anything that Doesnt Kills you, Makes you Stronger”

There for

Pressure is a Bless 🙂

What John Mayer Said…

Its amazing how God can put things in your way.

Deliberately so that you can think of things in a new way.

One night, i put on this John Mayer DVD “Any Given Thursday” i just bought

I watched it and since its late and it has been a dog day i decided to sleep whist letting the DVD roll on itself

Once the ZZzzz’s starts to flew high i was in deep sleep, untill suddenly i woke up

Its 4 AM and on my screen is still John Mayer he was juts ending a song and about to go on another

In between he said these lines

Considering it is the 1st thing i see when i woke up, it strucked me full thrust

This is what he said…

“I’ve just found the key ingredient for a Relation ship, Really i just found out about it, listen to this, a lesson from your uncle John…

One day, your day blew up cos someone said that there’s this boy/girl that likes you. You were liek BOOM sky high coz that someone is actually the person that you have been laying ur eyes to recently.

So then, you got his/her number from a friend and caled em. You got a great conversation on the phone so you decided to push ur self and asked “How about we go out sometimes on a dinner or movie sometimes” and then She/ He said

“I Liked That”

Suddenly WHAM! SKY HIGH! You felt so happy because of

“I Liked That”

After acouple of dates ur on the phone again and this time you had another great chat and then you said “You know, i’ve been thinking about you lately” and she was like “Gasp! I’ve been thinkin about you too”

BAM! Another hit, you flew so high higher than before. At this point, “I Liked THat” just has no meaning coz now, you moved up to another level “I’ve been thinking about you”.

FastForward, Now you say that you love him/ her and that she/ he said the same thing “I Love you” Again, You went higher that before. Now, “I Liked THat” and “I’ve been thinking about you” just couldnt cut it. Now its I love you.

Fast FOrward then you’d be saying Oh my God i wish there’s a word to describe this feeling coz love just cant do it anymore

FAstForward than you be saying “Say you love me” and she / he said “I love you” You go like more, more, more, say it more. And then before you know you’d be exchanging ” I love you’s” untill it goes so fast and so long,

suddenly you hit a big moment that turns you around when he/she said…

“I Hate You”

You go like “What?? No you dont”

She/he like “Yes, i hate you, i hate you i dont want to see you”

And then you’d be exchanging

“I hate you’s” and at this point, nothing works, you’re throwing punches on the water, everything just ..


And if there’s anything you can take out of this, is that..

You should never, ever, Dont ever Underestimate the Power of

“I Liked That”

Here, the crowd at Birmingham Alabama Cheers on him.

Suddenly, i come to think a lot of things about love.

About the thin line between hate and love and how it is driven by Emotions

How the unstable state of mind and the large ammount of emotion poured into 1 short mug will eventually, Blow up.

Never underestimate the power of “I Liked That” means Dont go hard on your Love.

Go easy, enjoy while it lasts

Take it easy and Enjoy the Ride


The wonders of life, and death…

Couple of days a go, a friend of mine juts lost his dad

When i arrived at his house to mourn i met the guys from University

i concure,

“Someone’s Death is Someone elses Reunion”

Gamila said “Death is the cheapest form of Reunion”

Ginting said “Death is an event that could form a commitee in the fastest way”

You see, there’s life in death after all.

My friend’s house became warm with reminiscing our past

Laughters blew and quickly became the warmth needed by the cold mourned home.

Some are still the same, some changed. MOstly on the physical part

The guys met me and said, “Fat Mutherfucker!”


We still have the same stories, same jokes, same mocks

In a brief episode of such reunion i had it all

Happy, Sad, even Mad. I lil insulted but that’s just the way we are

If i showed changes i had in me they wouldnt accept it.

Not right away anways

But it’s cool

I changed and i think they saw it a lil in me…

“Someone’s Death is Someone elses Reunion”

Well, i just hope i dont have to see someone else died to get another reunion


I just watched Men Of Honors for the 3rd time on my DVD

God i loved it.

I Love those kind of movies

Men Of Honors, Radio, ALI, Jerry Maguiere, Any Given Sunday, 8 Mile, A Few Good Man, even Allen Iverson’s vidoe “The Answer”.

Each and every movie i mention above, has 1 thing in common.

They FOUGHT their way to reach the top, they once fell but never fainted. They got up and finished the game. They Succeed.

Especially Men Of HOnors, 8 Mile and ALI, they had a soundtrack that always burns me with passion and desire to win

8 Mile has LOSE YOURSELF from Eminem


and Men Of HOnors has WIN from Brian Mc Knight.

Here’s my favourite line…

“So i’ll never give up, Neve give in, Never let a ray of Doubt slip in

and if i fall, i’ll never faint. I’ll just get up and try again.

Never lose hope, never lose faith. There’s much to much at stake.

Upon myslef i must depend. Im not looking a place or show…

Im gonna Win”

Living OutLOud…

There’s this song that is so inspiring to me

Sung by the late great Sammy Davis Jr. something called “A lot of Living”

One part of the song says…

“You’re Alive, so Why dont you Show it?”

When you know that there are Billions of People all around the world

With such short time of Living

YOu’ll think that you might wanna pull urslef a little bit higher from the rest of the herds

The point is this. Quote says,

“You’re Alive, so Why dont you Show it?”

So if you do not SHOW yourself, how would you expect people to know your alive?

People would see and feel ur existence if they know that you’re alive.

So from this day on, show urself

Be distinctive, make people see you

There are lots of ways achieve that.

You can look different

Think Different

Act Different

Sing Different

Ball Different

Just be Different

And be comfortable with it

“You’re Alive, so Why dont you Show it?”

I think i am very sick…

My Right Back, Whole Right Arm, My Hip, My Chest is aching

God it hurts if i think of it.

Im sweating and i dont know why

Myhead is spinning around

My stomach is, like its swollen

Its filled with gas

Its hurting me

I feel like i dont have energy even to walk

I called GAmila…

She was playing Basketball in a school there at Garut with her friends

She looks very happy

I cant tell her how sick i am right now

Last night before we parted she cried

She cried telling me how sad she is watching me sick like this

I cant make her sad

Not when she’s there and im here

Not when she and i knows that i have to go to Surabaya and Shoot a couple more episodes for CRUSHBONE. NOt when she knows i pushed my self lastnight at Hyatt on this MC Jazz thingy. I had to perform coz i signed on it.

Get back here on Monday, work as usual.

On Tuesday August 17th i’d be doing another MC job at BSM

August 22nd MC at SABUGA

August 28-29 MC at SPortakuler (on confirmation)

All that and i had turned down 3 MC Jobs.

Come to think of it..


I got lots of it…

Man i gotta write all those down on my CV.

Gonna look good one day.

HAha temporarely Pre Occupied

Now im back remembering how sick i am

and how This MOnth is gonna be a RollerCoaster

Seasonal Partnerships…

At times, people come and go.

What can you do to prevent it?


What can you do for it?

Not sure

What can you do about it?

In life there are people passing by

Some had smiles along the way

Some displays hatred and anger

Some even fear

The time you spent with them is the one you cant have

The echo of their existence in your life is immortal

It stays forever like the Stonehenge

Why do we fear goodbyes?

Why people regret that?

Cant they see that it is part of a huge phenomena fitted into 1 small word


Why cant people accept someone elses departure.

Is it because they’ll miss it?

Isnt it overrated?

Sooner or Later they’d get over it anyway.

It’s only a matter of time.


Once you think of it, you’d realize that you’ll spent ur energy on useless things

Why cant people accept someone elses departure.

Is it because of theyre worry of the abscence?

The abscence may lead to a hole.

again, Isnt it overrated?

We have no other choice and no other thing to do.

Sad or Not

We have to figure out a solution

Only that if we’re emotionally stable, Then we can find a solution

We’ll do it with clear thoughts

Smarter solutions Pops Up

Why cant people accept someone elses departure.

Is it because they’ll never gonna see em again?

And again, Isnt it overrated?

Its not like they’re DEAD or anything…

At times, people come and go.

What can you do to prevent it?


What can you do for it?

Not sure

What can you do about it?

Deal with it

It happened and still gonna happen again in the future

There’s nothing you can do about it

Smile about it

Breathe easy

its only something that’s often called in the office life as

Seasonal Partnerships